December 18, 2017
Resolving the teenage mood is often found in trust and comfort.
As parents it’s our natural instinct to find and give our children answers. From the moment they begin to discover new things in the world. From asking if Minions are real to where do babies come from. We have to find and give an answer.
When our children grow and transform from discovering the world around them to realizing what kind of world is around them, we sometimes have to take a different approach to our give an answer instinct.
The teenage years can be the most difficult time of our childrens life. We grow irritated with their attitudes and sometimes disrespectful responses and demeanor. Nothing is worse than a moody teenager moping around your house.
In this modern day we are extra sensitive, with the peer pressure of social media popularity, relationships and sex. Our heighten state of alertness can get in the way of what’s really going on with our teenagers.
The next time your teenager is moody or has an attitude for what you think is no reason at all, avoid the instinct of finding the answer for them and just create the opportunity for them to seek an answer. You may find that there isn’t a question to be answered, but the proverbial answer is the opportunity of knowing they can seek an answer.
My teenager was mopey. Walking around the house making comments about how his week was hard and that he wish things were different. Saying things that were invitations for conversation. So I pulled him aside later in the evening and simply asked if there was anything we needed to discuss about the way he is feeling. His response was no. I reiterated to him that without recourse or judgment, if he is feeling any kind of way and wanted to talk about it, I was here and that everything going on his world was as important to me as it is to him. And I left it at that. We hugged, said I love you and within moments his demeanor and attitude changed.
Just reminding him that he has an open line of communication for any way he is feeling was the answer. It gave him comfort, trust and empowerment to make the decision to come to me if he needed to talk. Which is another part of the teenage transition, being empowered to make their own life decisions.
We have to stay 10 steps ahead of our children at all times, but swallowing your parenting instinct and giving them the space of opportunity over answers, is often the answer.