Your Five Minute Relationship on Social Media Is a Glimpse into Your Ability to Connect to Anyone

Your Five Minute Relationship on Social Media Is a Glimpse into Your Ability to Connect to Anyone

Seems like no one takes time to develop a relationship any more.

Nothing like flipping through your Instagram app to discover someone you follow, friend or not, is excited about a new relationship. Rather you admit it or not, 9 out of 10 of us immediately predict if the relationship looks like it has a chance or not. Most often… the ladder. Then you get to sit back and watch what took five minutes to build completely crumble for all the world to see.

Why people want an audience for their relational failures, I’ll never know. Outside of political rants and cats, social media is a mecca for quick love and even quicker pain.

Seems like no one takes time to develop a relationship any more. They meet someone online, they like the color of their shoes and that translates in to love three days later. Here’s the big reveal folks, typically it takes longer than three days to fall in love. And transitioning a long standing friendship into the relationship zone has a 99% fatality rate. This use to be something people kept to themselves, but now social media has given everyone a platform to spotlight their inability to connect and love properly.

You may be that person and you may feel like all your friends and followers have genuine concern for your five minute relationship. We don’t. We’re entertained by your public display of stupidity. It’s the equivalent of an emu filled train wreck. We do everything but pop popcorn while watching you die a little inside after the craigslist hookup steals your money and disappears while you sleep.

I literally watch a guy I follow take a selfie, in the background of the selfie was another guy. Three pictures later, he took a creeper photo of the guy with the caption he’s cute. Two days later, their lying in bed next to each other saying how much in love they were. Three days after that, the same guy I follow is posting pictures of every sad song in his Amazon music library with captions of how his heart is broken. A month later, same set of pictures just with a different guy. Same result.

In less than a week, he fell head over heels in love? How? What did he expect to happen meeting someone on the streets of New York at a fair? Was the idea of moving to the suburbs, having a white picket fence and minivan that quick of a reaction to a new love? It was a fling, not a relationship. His heart didn’t have a chance to start beating let alone fall in love. But don’t worry, because the world has a front row seat to this disaster waiting to happen and the internet has captured his memory until the end of time.

Sure the divorce rate in the country may be down, compared to years past. The only reason why, no one is getting married any more. It’s a wham bam thank you Sam and off to the next STD.

Let getting to know each other be your private thing for at least the first few months. Throwing it up on social media the first week claiming you’ve met the one who completes you is just asinine. Or, keep posting your disasters. When we see you on the 10 o’clock news standing atop a bridge ready to end it all – at least we’ll have your failed relationships as memories.